It’s been several months since I’ve written on this blog, or written at all for that matter. I haven’t even written for my side hustles since January.
This year has been pretty crazy already…there’s been bushfires in Australia and now COVID-19. If that wasn’t enough I’ve miraculously managed to give myself more stress (but for the best reason)…by falling pregnant 🙂
The journey to now has been long and hard. Below I give you the story of my trying to conceive journey.
Deciding to ‘go it alone’
I have never hidden the fact that I wanted a child or that I was trying. It might not have been spoken about much here but it has been on my Instagram. Like all things I tend to do in my life, this was a little bit ‘abnormal’ or ‘different’. Unlike the majority of expecting women, I don’t have a partner. I’ve been single for approximately 6.5 years now and I chose to go into this journey of motherhood on my own, as a single mother by choice. The decision to take this step was never easy but something that I first decided about several years ago.
The decision to become a single mother by choice
I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mother. Like most little girls growing up, I just assumed this would be with a partner. After a few failed long term relationships and then being single for 4 years though, it didn’t look like I was going to meet my Mr. Right. I always wanted children before 30. Yes it’s young, but in terms of fertility after 30 things decline and it can become harder and harder to fall pregnant. I don’t quite remember when I started to look into doing this on my own. It was something I researched over several years and would often come back to for many reasons.
In August 2017, I first started to try with a donor. For privacy reasons I won’t go into anything to do with my donor. It’s my business and his only.
By the start of 2018, I hadn’t been able to fall pregnant. In February 2018, I landed in hospital with a bad kidney infection and then in March-April I participated in a charity event called the Tour De Cure and then straight after, I was a volunteer at the Commonwealth Games. This meant trying was put on hold for a few months.
I tried for a few months mid-2018 and it seemed that I wasn’t ovulating properly. I was using ovulation strips religiously to try and pinpoint ovulation but they were never positive. I did acupuncture for several months and took many disgusting Chinese herbs. I went to my GP and did a full hormone panel and blood work but found nothing that indicated anything major was wrong, aside from the fact that my cycle lengths were all over the page. I continued to try without success.
Did you know that the chance of conceiving each month for a healthy couple is only 25-30% under the age of 35, as there are only a few days each month that you are fertile.(source)
Near the end of August 2018 I was made redundant from my job, this meant once again, I had to stop trying. I wasn’t going to be pregnant and unemployed. As much as I wanted a child, I knew I wanted them to be brought up without financial stress. The redundancy ended up putting me in a great financial position. I found a job within a few months and was employed again from November 2018.
After a few months in 2019 I started trying again, knowing that if i did fall pregnant I would now be eligible for maternity leave at my new company. Before the point of being eligible there was no way I was going to try.
In May 2019, I found out that I was pregnant. Sadly I suffered an early miscarriage. I only knew about the pregnancy for a week before it was taken away from me. My GP estimates I was probably only around 5-6 weeks along before the miscarriage.
In June 2019, I had a pap smear and ended up getting my third abnormal result in a row (3 over 3 years). My doctor wanted to send me for further investigation and said it would be best if I stopped trying, because they couldn’t (or at least it was risky) to do the procedure if I was pregnant. So once again, I stopped trying. Due to public waiting lists I wasn’t able to have the procedure until October. After that procedure was done and my results came back normal, I started to try. This time with success…
and the result…
December 2019 ended up being my month and another usual cycle of trying worked this time. I had an inkling on Christmas Eve that it may have worked. This was before my period was due. On Boxing Day I got a positive test!! I was over the moon and also scared. After a doctors visit it was confirmed by blood that I was pregnant and the rest is history. It’s now mid-April and I’m currently 21 weeks which means I’m over halfway now!
I hope you’ve liked this little insight into my journey. Feel free to follow me on Instagram to see more. I just ask that your profile not be on private (or alternatively you can message me and introduce yourself) as I’ve locked off my page now for my own privacy.